| 09.04.06 (Denouncing the personification of the human heart) |
[Sep. 5th, 2006|08:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | With honor | ] |
I never know how to approach writing these blogs that I inevitablty delete for no apparent reason; I suppose I don't care much for informality.
Life is interesting...well, that is the greatest understatement of the 21st century, but let me reiterate-life is a gift. An obsevation that perplexes me is why people depreciate life...now honestly, all of us are insignifigant, I am not trying to grate against egos abroad or revile in melancholy self-loathing but it is true. Save a select few, noone of us will alter the course of history & that is fine, our need for identity & individuality validation should not stem from cultural relevance, but what we live for, & what we model our lives around. This leads to two options: either spending your life contemplating what is obviously light years away from human understanding or basking & indulging in animalistic instinct, & many people opt for the later & ultimately more convenient of the two paths. I believe this is spurred from the signifigance our society places on media intake and commodity consumption, & the exploitation of insecurity by passive-aggressively conveying to us that we are unattractive & uniteresting people but that somehow, inexplicably, by investing in many arbitray cosmetics & technological conveniences that we will somehow exemplify beauty & magnetize popularity. Something else our media glorifies is sexual objectification which is base sexism & the exhoneration of violence & engraining it into our generations as a necessity. Well, I see this as wrong in ever light portrayable; we have become culturally divided by the intelligent inventing even more arbitrary conveniences for the rest of society to devour & ultimately dumb down to passively sedated consumers. Product consumption is inevitable & not wrong in of itself, but free market enterprise shouldn't dictate our lives, & define our existences. Now I don't live in a monestary, spend only $800 a year & not entertain myself, but this isn't the focal point of my meager existence, God is. Endless consumption & economic depletion of scarcities will not bring about perpetual serenity & inner peace, & neither does religion nor nihilism; science will not answer our questions nor remedy some of our issues, & believing in a deity isn't going to solve crisis after crisis in bold hand writing, but in what I deem a deplorable age to live in, there is positivity to be found in the comfort of the act of faith. The death of myself nor the reader will alter history, save the minescule spheres of influence that we opperate around, but death should not be feared from a standpoint of faith, but within this lifetime we should take advantage of our inherent talents & expressive positivity. Life is way too short to pick apart other people & lose sleep every night on account of every other person's shortcomings, my encouragement to everyone is to focus on what is beautiful to you & not block everything else out by inadvertently creating a coping mechanism & a comfort zone but to focus on that & bless everyone around you whether you deem them "worthy" or not. & yes, I am capable of hypocracy, I am not exempt from anger or saddness but I earnestly strive to validate these emotions, not exploit them nor over-extend them. To sum up what I have written, I hope everyone can find beauty in the mundane & live for something greater than the act of consumption. God bless all of you,
-B. |
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| Get awesome! fest III |
[Jul. 3rd, 2006|09:05 pm] |
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...was fun. We played a pretty shitty set. We then played kickball with all the bands and went exploring. Japandi, Arse Moreira, The Coma recovery & The Kidcrash all played phenominal sets (regardless of the technical difficulties and string breakings) I am way darker now for romping about only in a roled up pair of jeans. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2006|09:59 pm] |
So it must be hateagay day, because I've never been called a faggot by so many people in a such hateful way in my life, which is fine-I am who I am, even though I am not "gay" I'll do and act as I please.
Its fine though because I nabbed:
Dragonforce tshirt
polo shirt
Elliott Smith-From a basement on the hill
The acacia strain-The dead walk
Mogwai-Mr. beast (special edition
The Smashing pumpkins-zero
Spiritualized-The complete works vol. 1 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2006|08:58 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Swans "Children of God"-Beautiful child | ] |
( 5.26.06 ) |
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| ARNRY! today rules |
[Jun. 6th, 2006|03:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Arnry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | great stuff! | ] |
I am feeling very arnry today :)
I grilled to the new AFI cd
I have been jamming Elliott Smith & The Beatles (appropriate for 6/6/06)
drinking water
eating chocolate
Hell yeah
messing with my kitty
I'm playing a show tonight
I could give a fuck about playing
but hanging out will be fun
:) |
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| Mother's milk |
[Aug. 10th, 2005|01:56 am] |
| [ | music |
| | SWANS-Mother's milk | ] |
And I'll sleep in the sea
And I'll wait there beneath the mud
And forgotten dreams and disease
And what's the secret I'll drain from your soul
And sweet is the sugar I'll drink from your skull
And where is the wound that shines the blue light
And who is the dead man my body made love to last night? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 20th, 2005|03:09 am] |
| [ | music |
| | adai/wolves/buried inside | ] |
so what constitutes as forward progression? how do you move forward without forced or resisted change? an interesting observation is how out of tune everyone is with their surroundings, noone will see something without an interjected take or opinion on it: nothing stands byitself in an unbiased mannor. does this mean that on a subconscious level that we formulate our changes and shape ourselves to be what we see as our ideal selves? (not including the changes that occur from outside our control i.e death, poverty, etc) i find that the more i am comfortable with accepting myself as myself without the " i would be better if i fixed my fucking earlobe, i need more tattoos, my hair should look like this etc) the more i find myself detached from the desire of passion. i am not living up to what i know i can do, i do not push forward as hard as i can...i am coasting, drifting by, treading water. i am dangerously neutral, i do not strive to be anything that takes effort or sacrifice. my main life, music no longer excites me like it used to, playing in a band is mundane in my eyes. since amid iniquity's break up so much of me has grown up and learned many things but so much of me stays in the past and i wonder if this is why i do not aspire to more then that within arm's length. through that band's break up i lost so many months of hardwork and sacrifice; that was the only time ive ever trully been on the same musical page with others and wanted to do anything possible to create music. i know that the majority of the members feel the same, in more extreme cases but its beyond our control and why try to relive such a large period in our lives? redundancy is comfort but that is the ultimate fear of moving forward which we all must do. i see so many of my friends just lost, everyone's falling apart but not in the " contrived melodramatic teenager bullshit" manner but in a deadly serious way. we are all loosing our grip on stability and support. everyones morphed into an introverted asshole stubborn on staying that way and not changing for the better. so where are we going with ourselves? how do you distinguish between the urgency to move on and the need to feel a constant in life? we are all fucked. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2003|08:51 pm] |
friends only.
MewithoutYou= AMAZING |
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